But while there are a lot of great leaders to choose from, there are also some historical leaders who were…not so great. For instance, the games have been willing to pick any historical leader for Germany except Adolf Hitler, for reasons that should be self-evident. But there are other figures who simply would not lend themselves to decent gameplay, whether it is because of their incompetence or crossing ethical lines.
6 Caligula (37-41 CE)
Civilization: Rome
Widely regarded as one of Rome’s worst emperors, Caligula was known to be delusional at best and tyrannical at worst. Although there is some dispute over how many of his alleged crimes actually happened, Caligula was known to be unpredictably violent and paranoid. He once tried to conquer England, but forgot to tell his army to meet him at the channel. So he “declared war” on the sea and collected seashells as “spoils of war.” He also tried to make his horse a consul. His insanity proved to be too much for Rome, leading him to be murdered by his own guards after only four years.
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Obviously, Caligula’s strange behavior does not translate well to a game that requires competent tactical planning. As the real-life Caligula learned the hard way, abruptly murdering one’s own people is not a great way to win their support. It would also be hard to incorporate as a mechanic, and doing so would encourage a self-destructive play style. The closest thing he had to a military victory, by “fighting” the Atlantic Ocean, accomplished nothing. Likewise, there would be little benefit to making the players’ soldiers stab at bodies of water.
5 Elagabalus (218-222 CE)
Civilization: Rome
Although perhaps not as famous as Nero or Caligula, Elagabalus still holds a reputation as one of the worst emperors. Crowned at only fourteen, he was known for his excessive lifestyle and twisted sense of humor. He cared little for the responsibilities of his title, instead being more interested in juvenile pranks like releasing lions on his guests during parties. Another notable habit was running “lotteries” in which he would mix the tickets with venomous snakes and then launch them by catapult into crowded streets. Those lucky enough to get a ticket without being poisoned, could get prizes like dead dogs, or bees. After four years, his own grandmother had him assassinated.
Elagabalus’s neglect and abuse towards his people is antithetical to the goal of Civilization. The idea is to build an effective civilization, which requires careful management and dedication. Having Elagabalus would be encouraging the player to mistreat their civilization and run it into the ground. Obviously, being able to catapult venomous snakes into one’s own cities is not a good way to produce amenities. His treatment of delegations from other leaders would make diplomacy frustrating.
4 King John (1177-1216)
Civilization: England
Britain has had its share of ruthless kings and queens, but many argue the worst to sit on the English throne was King John. The first thing he did after being crowned was get into a war with France, which saw his forces get repeatedly crushed by Philip II. In an effort to fund his doomed military campaigns, John began squeezing every penny he could out of everyone, making enemies among the nobility and clergy. After a period of rebellion and civil war, a group of nobles created the Magna Carta, a law restricting the king’s power. The now-iconic document was signed by King John, but he did everything in his power to resist its enforcement.
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Making King John a playable leader would be a recipe for disaster. Trying to translate his accomplishments to Civilization would compound a frustrating array of disadvantages for the player. Cities would have a much higher chance of rebelling, and it would be harder to produce the necessary amenities to keep people satisfied. If the player starts a religion, there might be a chance of them getting kicked out of it. Any effort at going to war would quickly drain funding. The advisor would have to be increasingly hostile, and repeatedly disrupt the player to force them to sign the Magna Carta.
3 Robert E. Lee (1861-1865)
Civilization: Confederate States of America
In 1861, there was a growing desire among the north to finally end slavery in America. The only problem was many in the south were determined to keep it going, mainly because that was where many slave owners lived. This divide led to the South getting the idea of secession, and quickly escalated into the American Civil War. Enter Robert E. Lee, a veteran soldier who proved a dedicated follower of southern ideals. He climbed the ranks until he became the face of the Confederacy.
Even putting aside the obvious ethical problems with including the Confederacy as a playable civilization, there is the simple fact that they were a poorly run regime. Although he managed to score a few small victories at the start of the war, Robert E. Lee was not a great general. His tactical blundering often gave huge openings to the Union, most famously at Gettysburg. In Civilization, this would translate to a militaristic civilization with weaker soliders and heavy penalties when engaged in warfare. The player could try to improve their chances by getting a great general, only there is a chance of said general dying in a friendly fire accident, just like Stonewall Jackson.
2 Leopold II (1865-1905)
Civilization: Belgium
Leopold II was an ambitious man, but his power was restricted by Belgium’s structure as a constitutional monarchy. So he cut through the red tape by producing what he claimed was a fair trade agreement with natives of the Congo, which he renamed the “Congo Free State.” In actuality, he ran a slave operation (despite slavery being outlawed by this point), which forced indigenous villages to harvest rubber in conditions that have been literally compared to the Holocaust. The brutality of his operation got to a point where severed hands became a regular occurrence. When word finally got out about just how cruel his company was, it was globally condemned, and Leopold was forced to shut it down. But the damage had already been done. The atrocities committed by Leopold II’s operation would later become the basis for Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness.
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While the Civilization games allow players to engage in some ethically dubious behavior, they tend to draw the line at slavery. Unfortunately, it was a defining part of Leopold’s reign. Translating his actions into the game would mean being able to hijack another player’s civilization, enslave them, and then trying to convince other players that it is a fair arrangement. Even putting aside the ethical problems, it would be extremely unbalanced and unfair gameplay.
1 Nicholas II (1894-1917)
Civilization: Russia
Nicholas II was abruptly crowned after the assassination of his father, without much training in state affairs. As a result, his efforts at ruling quickly sent Russia into a downward spiral. He started a poorly-coordinated war with Japan that saw his forces crushed, and nearly caused a war with Britain after trying to send his untrained navy as reinforcements. His insistence on personally commanding the army in WWI only served to further show his tactical incompetence. His elitist policies and resistance to reform led to violent retaliation against perceived enemies. Unsurprisingly, he became increasingly unpopular, and was forced to abdicate after the Russian Revolution, before being executed alongside his family.
Like King John, Nicholas II was an unpopular monarch whose reign was characterized by doomed military efforts and misuse of power. Playing as Nicholas II would mean not only an extreme disadvantage in warfare, but also being much slower to adopt new government systems and an even higher chance of rebellion than most leaders. It may even get to the point where the player has to fight an entire revolution.
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